Tinder Survival Guide

573
Reading Time: 2 minutes

Tinder is a tricky app to navigate, particularly for those new to the online dating scene

For starters, what do you do when you stumble upon an old friend, a former lover, a cousin, or worse—your sibling? Who knows what the right thing to do is, there was not a handbook written for Tinder virgins.

What do you do when you swipe no for someone that you meant to swipe yes for, do you delete the app and try to find him or her again? Or do you just live with the detrimental mistake that you just made.

When a guy sets their story should you like it to try to send hints? Is tinder really for the sole purpose of finding “interesting individuals”?

Here we go, the Tinder survival guide. If you do happen to find your sibling, swipe no automatically, that’s just creepy. Pretend like you have never seen them on Tinder, and move on.

If you are looking for your “Tinderella” or Prince Charming, always look through the pictures on their profile. A group photo can conceal the man or woman’s true identity.

Automatic no when a man takes a mirror selfie. No. Just no. Any selfies at all. Unless they are Liam Hemsworth or Ryan Gosling, those are the only two exceptions.

Same goes for the ladies. If she has innumerable bathroom selfies, she is more fascinated with her own appearance than anything you have to offer.

If you are looking for the man of your dreams, take the following into account. If you do happen to swipe no for a sexy man—with a nice jaw line and biceps you want to lick— just live with it. Get over it, there will be another gorgeous hunk after the next swipe. If a guy sends you a nasty pick up line, come back with a sarcastic comment, there is nothing better than a potential hookup with an impeccable sense of humour. At the end of the night and you haven’t found a suitable guy to take you for a ride, you will probably find yourself swiping through the potential hookups to see which one fits your criteria. 6’2, beard, blue eyes, and a dog? That’s right. Beard, a well groomed beard, and then if you happen to match, and he messages you first, BINGO! We’ve found a winner! Just make sure you’ve got some rubbers handy.

For the Tinderella you’ve always been waiting for, look for the ladies who are not overly made-up. Try and find a match that is, of course, sexy, but perhaps a little held back. Maybe she is only showing a little cleavage, or none at all. If you do stumble across a babe and she doesn’t seem interested when you message her, just let it go. Chances are she’s giving you the hint that you’re coming on too strong. Keep swiping through Tinder until you find a lady friend who is happy to chat, easy on the eyes, and genuinely interested in meeting you. As always, have a means of protection at the ready, and if you have the guts message her first—it can make all the difference!

Tinder is not an app to meet “interesting individuals”. It is an easy way to find single men and women that are looking for a lay. Whether you want to believe it or not, Tinder is for sex. Period. That being said, Tinder at your own risk.

 

 

Emily is in her fourth year of Political Science. She loves studying and academics which follows into her research work. She's a stern black coffee drinker and is a proud Acadienne. When she's not working or doing school work, you can find Emily listening to 70s music on vinyl and watching Parks and Recreation. If you ask her about parliamentary institutions, she won't stop talking.